Little White Lies

So, I recently read this incredible book and it touches on a point that really got me thinking... how many times a day do you lie? You probably think that it's not THAT many times, I know I did. But I wondered, what if I kept a list like the guy in the book and kept track of EXACTLY how many lies I told in one day? The rules are: you start counting from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep. You must count EVERY lie- no matter how small or insignificant it may be. No lying about how many lies you tell. Sounds simple, right? It's not. Here are a few excerpts from my "list":

6:45am- lied to the children. Told them that I'd made blueberry muffins for breakfast because there were no cinnamon rolls. I really just WANTED blueberry muffins. I could've told the truth on this one, but honestly, didn't want to hear whining and be "mean mommy" before seven o'clock.

7:00am- lied to the children again. Said that if they didn't finish breakfast in the next 3 minutes, we'd be late for school. That's not necessarily true. I just wanted them to hurry up. I could've just TOLD them what to do instead of lying about WHY they should move faster.

8:30am- lied to work. Told them I couldn't grab coffee on my way in because I'd already passed Starbucks. Just didn't want to take every one's order and then pay for it all and then run around all morning trying to get paid back. Plus, hate trying to balance 9 steaming hot cups of coffee, latte, etc.

9:50am- lied to patients. Told them they'd only have to wait "a few more minutes". Knew this to be untrue before I even uttered the words. We were already 35 minutes behind schedule and there were 2 people ahead of them. Told this particular lie 9 more times, by the way. I feel these lies don't count because the patients KNOW you're lying to them, but I'm adhering to the rules. Besides, no one wants to be told that yes, you will be waiting for a LOT longer.

10:40am- lied AGAIN! Said I had just eaten at Newk's and therefore wanted to order lunch from somewhere different. The truth is, I wanted Basil's, but I didn't want to be the one to suggest Basil's since that's the only place I ever want to order from. I know, I know.

3:00pm- again, with the lying. Told the Fraternal Order of Police that I'd already spent my charitable giving budget. Not true. Just don't plan on giving any of it to them. Why didn't I just say "NO"?!?

3:45pm- Realize that I'm ending phone conversations with the phrase "See you later" when, in fact, I'm not planning to see the person for days.

4:50pm- lied to MYSELF!!! Said, "Oh, I'll vacuum the rug tomorrow" when I know I'll most probably put it off for at LEAST another couple of days! It's getting ridiculous.

7:30pm- surprised? Told Dr. B that my back hurts so he'll rub it. It kinda aches, so that one barely counts!

9:30pm- reprised the earlier lie, but for different reasons this time... :)

So, as you can see, there is work to be done! I don't think that I'm telling pathologically harmful lies, but it's lying all the same. I'm going to work on it. Well, no, see I lied again! I probably won't work on it. I'll just continue telling little white lies to keep the sailing smooth. See?!? That's one of the most truthful things I've said all day! Whoo-hoo! It's helping already!