I thought I'd seen and heard it all.... until yesterday! An Australian company that supplies professional Santa Clauses announced that THEIR Santas will no longer use the traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho", as it is offensive to women. Seriously! From now on (at least in Australia), Santa will say "ha, ha, ha". Is this what the world is coming to?!?
I am an extremely liberal woman. I value political correctness, to a point. No one needs to run around spewing racial, ethnic, or sexual epitaphs, but come on! Sure, if a stranger walked up to me randomly on the street and used the word "ho", I'd be mad as hell! But we're talking about SANTA!!! I don't know for sure, but I don't THINK when he says "ho, ho, ho" that he's using the modern interpretation. LONG before Jigga (that's Jay-Z, whitebread!) was telling his "bitches and hos" that they "betta have my money to show" Santa was benignly using the word to spread good cheer and love at Christmas time.
You know, my question is, when will it end? I mean, Rudolph COULD offend hardcore animal rights activists. Snowmen really might really impede the global warming activists by "tricking" all of us Americans into thinking that it still gets cold in the world. Blinking lights are offensive to epileptics. Santa's elves COULD be seen as slaves, so that's definitely not P.C.! Every thing's offensive if you look at it long enough!
My other thought is this: Isn't it ironic that the continent who's nickname is "DOWN UNDER" (talk about the potential for offense, well, or at least immature jokes!) is so deeply concerned with "ho, ho, ho"? Just sayin! Anyway, just wanted to let all you bra-burners know that instead of smiling at that Salvation Army Santa on the way out of Walmart you SHOULD be slapping him instead for insulting the flower of womanhood! Merry Christmas!
Showing posts with label Tell me what you really think. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tell me what you really think. Show all posts
Friday, November 16, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
How much are YOUR kids worth?
Did y'all see the story about the New York woman who tried to SELL her baby to an undercover policeman for $25,000.00! Really! Not making this up! So, I'm thinking, DAMN! That's one GOOD ASS baby! Because I'll be honest, my kids were so bad as babies, I don't know that I'd have gotten $75.00 for them! People would have given ME $25,000.00 to take them BACK! Now, I know some people (and you KNOW who you are!!!) live in a happy world where you think your little angels are just the prettiest, smartest, most enjoyable tiny beings on the planet... but they're not! And, honestly, I wouldn't give you $20.00 for most of the children I know (with a few special exceptions- ie. Godchild). So, I think we can all agree that this woman was unstable to say the least....not only for SELLING a baby, but putting an unrealistic price on it! So, really, what would you sell your kids for? And don't bother saying, nothing, because that's just un-creative and boring and I hate that! It's just pretend, so, name your price! I won't think you're a bad mom and Social Services doesn't monitor our site (at least we HOPE they don't!!! Yikes!), so do it! Be anonymous if you have to! I'm curious! Indulge me!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Seriously, people!
OK- I can admit that I'm a Dancing With The Stars fanatic! I took ballroom in college and later in life with a gay friend (gay men rock- WORD!) and have been hooked for YEARS! Those who know me well should know why I'd be drawn to a sport (and is it really a sport?... but, that's another blog for another day!) that promotes excessive make-up usage and sequined everything. That's my normal look anyway! Ha, ha!
But seriously people, tonight Seal was a featured singer on the show! I mean, SEAL!!! #1- His only recent achievement was marring Heidi Klum and convincing her somehow to have his crunky looking children. But, whatever. #2- What happened to his face? Was he burned? Suffered from terrible acne? What!?! Been dying to know for years! #3- The BIGGIE- Does he have another song besides that screechy Rose on the Grave thing from Batman? Seriously. He sang it AGAIN last night on the show! Isn't it time to come up with something new? Try and keep it fresh and all?
So, if you can name ANY other song by Seal, please list it here. I'm not going to add it to my I-tunes or anything, I'd just honestly like to know if he HAS another song! And, all you rabid Seal fans- spare me! If you don't mind the shame of admitting you like this, um, artist (and I use that word loosely) don't bother going on about how much you love him and hope I burn forever for desecrating his talents, etc. I'll just delete you, anyway! Seriously, people! Let the list begin!
But seriously people, tonight Seal was a featured singer on the show! I mean, SEAL!!! #1- His only recent achievement was marring Heidi Klum and convincing her somehow to have his crunky looking children. But, whatever. #2- What happened to his face? Was he burned? Suffered from terrible acne? What!?! Been dying to know for years! #3- The BIGGIE- Does he have another song besides that screechy Rose on the Grave thing from Batman? Seriously. He sang it AGAIN last night on the show! Isn't it time to come up with something new? Try and keep it fresh and all?
So, if you can name ANY other song by Seal, please list it here. I'm not going to add it to my I-tunes or anything, I'd just honestly like to know if he HAS another song! And, all you rabid Seal fans- spare me! If you don't mind the shame of admitting you like this, um, artist (and I use that word loosely) don't bother going on about how much you love him and hope I burn forever for desecrating his talents, etc. I'll just delete you, anyway! Seriously, people! Let the list begin!
The Sixth Grade Dance
OK- so, I'm officially old! The sixth grade dance is coming up and a certain little boy is going. It's a costume Halloween dance and he is dressing like a penguin. I tried to no avail to steer him towards a "cooler" costume, but he insists. So, penguin it is. At least I know that once I zip him into this huge, padded suit, no slutty little girl dressed like a Bratz doll will be able to molest him!
Anyway, so here's the big dilemma. Do you ask a "date" (as most of his friends have done) or not? The little girl that he likes mother and I had a big conversation about this very topic. She feels that her little princess is too young to go on a date. I'm in total agreement! Sixth graders are still little children (case in point, wanting to dress like your favorite animal, the penguin) and have no business thinking about dating. But, here's the thing. All of their friends are asking "dates". Now, the boys (and boys ONLY) are meeting for McDonald's beforehand and then a few of the mothers are taking them to the dance. A few of the other mothers (including your's truly) will be dropping them back off at home when it's over at 8:30- yes, that's right. They'll be staying out until 8:30!
So, I don't see the harm in asking a "date". It's really in name only. No one's riding together in the same car, no one's going to eat together before or afterward, the only time they'll even see each other is at the dance, and honestly, they probably won't even stand on the same sides of the room! However, this mother is adamant. She wanted ME to tell Troy to not ask Princess! Well, I asked, how will Princess feel if Troy decides to ask someone else? Oh no! She doesn't want THAT! She just doesn't want them to officially "go" to the dance "together". Isn't that sort of a moot point?
I breached the subject with Troy this weekend, and he's now torn. He wants to "ask" Princess, but can't because he doesn't want to make her mother angry. He wants a "date" like everyone else, so he's thinking about "asking" someone else. However, he really likes Princess and doesn't want to hurt her feelings! Should I call the mother (who I think is being a tad overprotective) and try to work something out? Tell him to just go without an official "date"? Lock him in his room for the next 10 years? Help!!!
Anyway, so here's the big dilemma. Do you ask a "date" (as most of his friends have done) or not? The little girl that he likes mother and I had a big conversation about this very topic. She feels that her little princess is too young to go on a date. I'm in total agreement! Sixth graders are still little children (case in point, wanting to dress like your favorite animal, the penguin) and have no business thinking about dating. But, here's the thing. All of their friends are asking "dates". Now, the boys (and boys ONLY) are meeting for McDonald's beforehand and then a few of the mothers are taking them to the dance. A few of the other mothers (including your's truly) will be dropping them back off at home when it's over at 8:30- yes, that's right. They'll be staying out until 8:30!
So, I don't see the harm in asking a "date". It's really in name only. No one's riding together in the same car, no one's going to eat together before or afterward, the only time they'll even see each other is at the dance, and honestly, they probably won't even stand on the same sides of the room! However, this mother is adamant. She wanted ME to tell Troy to not ask Princess! Well, I asked, how will Princess feel if Troy decides to ask someone else? Oh no! She doesn't want THAT! She just doesn't want them to officially "go" to the dance "together". Isn't that sort of a moot point?
I breached the subject with Troy this weekend, and he's now torn. He wants to "ask" Princess, but can't because he doesn't want to make her mother angry. He wants a "date" like everyone else, so he's thinking about "asking" someone else. However, he really likes Princess and doesn't want to hurt her feelings! Should I call the mother (who I think is being a tad overprotective) and try to work something out? Tell him to just go without an official "date"? Lock him in his room for the next 10 years? Help!!!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Petty (and immature), but I don't care!
Well, just heard through the grapevine that my old high school arch nemesis is getting a divorce. It's supposedly ugly (I think she cheated) and complicated (for some strange reason their new house is primarily in his parent's names?) and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm finding all of this embarrassingly enjoyable. It's a double-edged kind of happiness, because I know how petty it is to feel joy about someones misfortune, but I just can't help myself. So, for today, I have decided that I can feel guilt free happiness about the situation.
Before you judge too quickly, you don't know this particular person. She was, without a doubt, the meanest, bossiest, most aggressive and backbiting girl that I have ever met! For any of you who lived through the Ann saga, she make Ann look like Mother Teresa. To this day, she hates my guts for a myriad of silly reasons. I won't say that I hate her, because I rarely even think about her, but she's in my all-time, permanent, bottom ten people in the world that I'd like to spend time with. It'd take pages to tell you all the details, but suffice to say that she did all the evil stuff and Truvie was the totally innocent target of her rage! :)
So, today, we celebrate! When I bump into her this Christmastime in the hometown Walmart, I can feel a certain smug satisfaction that yes, my life is officially better that yours (I warned you that this was immature). Maybe karma caught up to a certain someone after all. Payback's a bitch for those Girbaud purple jeans you "lost" in 10th grade! Petty, yes, but I don't care. Hopefully, sane and rational Truvie will return tomorrow!
Before you judge too quickly, you don't know this particular person. She was, without a doubt, the meanest, bossiest, most aggressive and backbiting girl that I have ever met! For any of you who lived through the Ann saga, she make Ann look like Mother Teresa. To this day, she hates my guts for a myriad of silly reasons. I won't say that I hate her, because I rarely even think about her, but she's in my all-time, permanent, bottom ten people in the world that I'd like to spend time with. It'd take pages to tell you all the details, but suffice to say that she did all the evil stuff and Truvie was the totally innocent target of her rage! :)
So, today, we celebrate! When I bump into her this Christmastime in the hometown Walmart, I can feel a certain smug satisfaction that yes, my life is officially better that yours (I warned you that this was immature). Maybe karma caught up to a certain someone after all. Payback's a bitch for those Girbaud purple jeans you "lost" in 10th grade! Petty, yes, but I don't care. Hopefully, sane and rational Truvie will return tomorrow!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
When did this happen?
My mother always made sure we had really great birthday parties. I don't ever remember having a single birthday that was a disappointment in any way, but things were ALOT different back then. My grandmother made our cakes. Yes, that's right! We did not go to an overpriced bakery and spend $45.00 on a cake who's colors had been custom tinted to match the paper the invitations had been printed upon. She actually got in her kitchen and MADE the cake. You had two choices- chocolate or vanilla. She was actually very good at cake decorating and it would be a fun surprise to see what she had done to "fancy" it up. Beyond her time, the ingredients in the cake probably didn't cost $5.00.
At my childhood parties, we usually just ran around in the yard. Maybe we played kickball or scavenger hunt or just PLAYED. We didn't have a $150.00 blow-up jumper or a pony or a creepy man who displayed his unusually large collection of reptiles. We were just happy to be together outside of school where we could have fun! If you tried to throw a party in this day and age without an official "theme", you be tarred and feathered! What will the children DO for two whole hours without ENTERTAINMENT people would cry!!!
When I opened gifts as a child, my friends brought me $3.00 trinkets from Fred's Dollar Store. My parents didn't feel that they or my grandparents had to spend more than $20.00 on a Cabbage Patch Doll or roller skates. Now, if your kid doesn't rack up an I-pod or PSP, CDs, DVDs, and at least $150.00 cash, it's a bad haul! No child over the age of 6 brings gifts anymore, by the way. Their parents just stick $20.00 in a card and send it to the party. My ten year old received a total of $275.00 for his birthday in August! That's more than I get on MY birthday as an adult! It's CRAZY!!!
Now, don't think I'm being too self-righteous. As we speak, I'm putting the final touches on an extravaganza for 7 little girls this weekend. It's my daughter's first sleep-over birthday party. We're taking them out to our family's farm for a bonfire, hayride, campout, pumpkin painting, manicure (with a real manicurist attending) spend the night pizza party! I'm soon on the way to pay for my monogrammed, round, 3 layer strawberry cake with cream cheese icing tinted the exact same shade of yellow as the tablecloth. My car is loaded with presents, among them Hannah Montanna tickets. Other mother's of young girls will be able to imagine what these cost! The show is sold out and I payed more for these tickets than I did for The Rolling Stones!
When did all of this happen? When did party favors go from being a brown paper sack of candy to being a personalized necklace? Where will the madness end?!? Mother's of infants, start saving your pennies now! You thought college was going to be expensive? You've got at least 12 birthday party's ahead of you! And, after that, you'll just be expected to GIVE them the money you would've spent on the party that they're too old for now! A word of advice, people may think you a fool (or a pauper), but if you're wise... DON'T START! Call Nanny and ask her to break out the cake pan! Just stick some balloons on the picnic table and open some Ruffles and onion dip! Let the "theme" be, oh I don't know, playing in the backyard!!! To most kids these days, that's new and exotic anyway! Good luck!
At my childhood parties, we usually just ran around in the yard. Maybe we played kickball or scavenger hunt or just PLAYED. We didn't have a $150.00 blow-up jumper or a pony or a creepy man who displayed his unusually large collection of reptiles. We were just happy to be together outside of school where we could have fun! If you tried to throw a party in this day and age without an official "theme", you be tarred and feathered! What will the children DO for two whole hours without ENTERTAINMENT people would cry!!!
When I opened gifts as a child, my friends brought me $3.00 trinkets from Fred's Dollar Store. My parents didn't feel that they or my grandparents had to spend more than $20.00 on a Cabbage Patch Doll or roller skates. Now, if your kid doesn't rack up an I-pod or PSP, CDs, DVDs, and at least $150.00 cash, it's a bad haul! No child over the age of 6 brings gifts anymore, by the way. Their parents just stick $20.00 in a card and send it to the party. My ten year old received a total of $275.00 for his birthday in August! That's more than I get on MY birthday as an adult! It's CRAZY!!!
Now, don't think I'm being too self-righteous. As we speak, I'm putting the final touches on an extravaganza for 7 little girls this weekend. It's my daughter's first sleep-over birthday party. We're taking them out to our family's farm for a bonfire, hayride, campout, pumpkin painting, manicure (with a real manicurist attending) spend the night pizza party! I'm soon on the way to pay for my monogrammed, round, 3 layer strawberry cake with cream cheese icing tinted the exact same shade of yellow as the tablecloth. My car is loaded with presents, among them Hannah Montanna tickets. Other mother's of young girls will be able to imagine what these cost! The show is sold out and I payed more for these tickets than I did for The Rolling Stones!
When did all of this happen? When did party favors go from being a brown paper sack of candy to being a personalized necklace? Where will the madness end?!? Mother's of infants, start saving your pennies now! You thought college was going to be expensive? You've got at least 12 birthday party's ahead of you! And, after that, you'll just be expected to GIVE them the money you would've spent on the party that they're too old for now! A word of advice, people may think you a fool (or a pauper), but if you're wise... DON'T START! Call Nanny and ask her to break out the cake pan! Just stick some balloons on the picnic table and open some Ruffles and onion dip! Let the "theme" be, oh I don't know, playing in the backyard!!! To most kids these days, that's new and exotic anyway! Good luck!
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