The best concert EVER!!!

Back in the day, I attended many a concert! U2, The Rolling Stones, Britney Spears (yes, I know...), James Taylor, Buffet, Luda- the list is varied and long. Just as much fun were the smaller, more local shows- Black Betty and I danced our asses off on stage with Afroman- but, all of these concerts had one tiny thing in common that helped make them so fantastic. At each, I was more than a little tipsy! At some, I may have even been chemically altered.... but that's another blog. In short, I think we can all agree that when the bourbon really gets flowing the band, whatever band, ROCKS!

That's why I had the shock of my life Thursday night. Most of you heard that Macy and I scored tickets to Hannah Montanna in Memphis. For those of you not in the know, this was a pretty tough feat to accomplish in the first place. The show had been sold out since FOREVER and the tickets were crazy expensive, but I decided it would be worth it since Macy spends hours locked in her room wearing a Hannah Montanna wig and belting out the songs. So, after weeks of waiting it was FINALLY time. I won't attempt to describe the scene outside the forum. Just imagine Beatle Mania times 100 and you'll get an idea. Suffice to say that if the military put terrorists in an arena full of 8,000 "tweens" shrieking for 3 hours at fever pitch, the war might take a whole different direction!

When seven o'clock finally rolled around, the Jonas Brothers (or "JoBros" if you're cool) kicked off the show. They were received like the obligatory salad before dinner. Good, but get on with it already! By the time they had finished 45 minutes later the crowd was chanting constantly, "Hannah! Hannah!" If they weren't attractive, billionaire teen-agers, I would've almost felt bad for them. Anyway, FINALLY! Hannah Montanna! Up until this point, the other mothers sitting around us and I had been talking and giggling amongst ourselves at how silly it all was. But, honestly, when Hannah descended to the stage in a light box, dancing, and exploded out of it, I almost cried. Don't get me wrong, she's a great performer, but it was the look on Macy's face that totally got me! I can't really describe it, but it's the feeling that you get at Disney World while watching the fireworks with your kids for the first time. It's knowing that you're witnessing one of the best moments of their little life, something they'll remember for a LONG time.

Laugh if you will, but it was the best concert I've ever been to! I've danced the whole show through before many times, but never like this. Without even one drink I was so high! And it wasn't just me. All the mommies and daughters were dancing in the aisles, waving overpriced glowsticks and singing along. If you would've told me a few years ago that I'd have the time of my life at a CHILDREN'S concert, I'd have laughed hysterically! And that, in and of itself, is worth ALOT more that the $300 dollars I had to burn on the tickets. Uggggh! I guess I'm finally retiring my getting-pulled-up-on-stage-and-grinding-with-friends-while-pounding-shots self and becoming acquainted with my sleepy-at-ten-o'clock-but-loving-watching-Macy-dance-on-a-chair-while-shrieking self. Every generation has to pass that torch sometime, and you know what? It's not as bad as I thought it might be!

Don't TOTALLY count me out yet, though. As Hannah herself sings, "Lets go, GNO" (girls night out)... I love my girlfriends, but they've got a long way to go before they top the night my number one girl and I had Thursday! We can still try, though, we can still try... :)

Y'all have a GREAT week! I'm on vacation til next Friday, December 7th! See you back then!

Make time go FASTER, Daddy!!!

Well, this will instigate alot of "No, really..." from my friends :), but Truvie has discovered that she is SPOILED! Truvie has been fortunate enough to work about four days a month for the last 2 years. Being an overpaid, contract worker at an ambulatory surgery center is just about the best damn job in the world! They call and tell Truvs the days they need her to work, if the schedule's free... Truvie goes. If the schedule's booked (all those lunches at Basil's)... Truvie declines. It's fantastic!

Fast forward to now. Three of the regular girls are out, either surgery or family emergencies or other. They need Truvie to work everyday. And by everyday, I mean the grueling schedule of Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays for the next 6 weeks. Truvie basically agrees. This seems like a win, win all around. There are Christmas presents to buy, Hannah Montanna tickets to pay off, vacations looming. Truvie will be rich!

Truvie is struggling. Truvie can't get all her laundry and dishes done. Truvie's perfect house is in disarray. Truvie has no time to talk on the phone or get her nails done, or stay up late on a Tuesday night drinking wine for no reason at all except that it's fun! Truvie had forgotten that working... well, it sucks! The big one! Maybe not "the big one". Why do people say that, anyway? A "big one" is, you know, a good thing. People should be saying, "That sucks the small, disappointing one." But, whatever...

Anyway, stay at home moms can say what they will, but I've been BOTH and let me tell you... I'd rather stay at the hiz-ouse! Hats off to all you girlies who do it EVERYDAY and plan on doing it everyday for forever! I don't know how you're making it! Myself, I'm living for the end of December. My favorite quote this week:

"Make time go FASTER, Daddy!!!" Veruca Salt, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Scrooge

When I decided to become a nurse, I had fantasies of grateful, smiling patients meekly following orders and willingly accepting treatments. When I saw myself in these daydreams, I had a chic ponytail, natural yet glow-y make-up, and spotless white uniform. Never, never did I imagine the horrors that awaited me.

I have worked for 3 different surgery centers. At each, the uniforms grew more horrid than the last. Whoever designs scrubs must also make kindergarten bulletin board materials! I have had jackets with dancing elephants, smiling toothbrushes, large animated numerals, but never the likes of what was "gifted" to our staff this year. We "girls" were given reindeer jackets with ATTACHED reindeer tails on the back and fabric surgical caps with ANTLERS sewn on! I am not joking!

When I announced that it would be a cold day in H-E-double hockey sticks before I'd wear that get-up, I was called a "scrooge". Well, so what?!? If being a scrooge means having a shred of dignity, then I suppose I'll be one. I was already wearing the singing butterfly jacket of Monday and you know... enough is ENOUGH! If you don't take a stand, well, the next thing you know it's pantyhose with Teeva sandals and jeans that come up to your nipples!

My reindeer jacket is being (sadly) returned. My boss says she is ordering me a Dr. Seuss scrooge jacket instead. Go ahead, I told her. I would not, could not wear that sh*t! I would, I should, I'd rather QUIT! So, next time your job seems bleak, at least be thankful that you aren't attired in a tap dancing doggy jacket with a Precious Moments cap on your head!

Merry F-ing Christmas, everyone!

Who knew?!? Truvie's Thanksgiving Tips, Part Three

So, yesterday when I was freaking out about getting everything done for dinner last night, Troy and Macy really saved the day. Troy swept up the front and back porches and scooped leaves out of the pool. Macy cleaned her bathroom and part of mine! It was fabulous! They dusted their rooms and made their beds. Macy also (without BEING ASKED!!!) dusted the living room! What?!? I didn't know they could do all that stuff- and do it WELL! I didn't have to go behind them or follow up with any of the things they did. It was like a miracle! There was no fussing, no whining, no "whyyyyy". They just pitched in and helped! Thank you LORD!
If you aren't using your children as a source of free labor, you should be! With less instruction than you'd need to give a maid, they can really take alot of the burden of holiday entertaining off your shoulders! A little praise, a pizza and cookie dough for lunch, some hugs and kisses and the house will be spotless in no time! Even small children can empty small trash cans and pick up toys. Every little bit helps!

My family has a tradition that before the Thanksgiving blessing we go around the room and name at least one thing that we're thankful for this year. Mine will definitely be my children. It's funny how just when you think you know what to expect from them, they continually surprise and amaze you... if you can just step back and let them!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Truvie's Thanksgiving Tips, Part Two

Here's another easy trick for a beautiful Thanksgiving table that's cheap and easy. For your centerpiece, try a vase filled with fall foliage. It looks really pretty and it's so easy! You can mix in a grocery store bouquet of fall flowers also, if you wish. Another fun twist on this theme is to cut the tops out of small pumpkins or squash and use the hollow gourds as your vase. Pumpkins will hold water with out leaking for at least 3 days, so you can really enjoy your centerpiece or use it for multiple meals.

Another meaningful way to make the table gorgeous is to use place cards that have not only the person's name written on them, but also include one thing about them that you are thankful for. I like to cut long, thin strips of fine craft paper and after the message has been written, curl the strip like you would curling ribbon. Be sure to run your scissors along the back of the message to prevent the ink from smudging. These long curls look fabulous wrapped around the stem of your place setting's water or wine glass. Just arrange them so that the name of your guest is facing outward to facilitate them finding their seat. If you've never used place cards before, you should try it! It allows you to choose who sits beside whom and wards off all kinds of evil! Plus, you can seat yourself in the center of the action.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, Graceful Streeters!

Truvie's Thanksgiving Tips, Part One

Here's a fun little Thanksgiving tip for all of you who, like myself, invited your husband's family over Tuesday night for formal Thanksgiving dinner because you feel guilty about not attending their family meal on Thursday. Hmmmmm... it seemed like such a wonderful idea at the time! Anyway, why not go all out this year and do Thanksgiving "right". Macy and I had a great time setting the table today in my best inherited linen and fine china. I mean, if you can't use the best things that you have for your FAMILY, who are you EVER going to use them on? In this day and age of paper EVERYTHING nothing says "special occasion" like a gorgeous table. You know, I don't even MIND all the hand washing afterwards, because those times spent in the kitchen cleaning up with my mother and sister and aunts were some of my best holiday memories!

Besides all that, there's something about dressing up and sitting down to a formal meal that makes everyone be on their very best behavior, a plus for all of you out there, also like myself, who have crazy relatives. So, put that Chinet away and break out the wedding china you almost never use! I promise you, it'll be worth it!

Santa is a Sexist Pig!!!

I thought I'd seen and heard it all.... until yesterday! An Australian company that supplies professional Santa Clauses announced that THEIR Santas will no longer use the traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho", as it is offensive to women. Seriously! From now on (at least in Australia), Santa will say "ha, ha, ha". Is this what the world is coming to?!?

I am an extremely liberal woman. I value political correctness, to a point. No one needs to run around spewing racial, ethnic, or sexual epitaphs, but come on! Sure, if a stranger walked up to me randomly on the street and used the word "ho", I'd be mad as hell! But we're talking about SANTA!!! I don't know for sure, but I don't THINK when he says "ho, ho, ho" that he's using the modern interpretation. LONG before Jigga (that's Jay-Z, whitebread!) was telling his "bitches and hos" that they "betta have my money to show" Santa was benignly using the word to spread good cheer and love at Christmas time.

You know, my question is, when will it end? I mean, Rudolph COULD offend hardcore animal rights activists. Snowmen really might really impede the global warming activists by "tricking" all of us Americans into thinking that it still gets cold in the world. Blinking lights are offensive to epileptics. Santa's elves COULD be seen as slaves, so that's definitely not P.C.! Every thing's offensive if you look at it long enough!

My other thought is this: Isn't it ironic that the continent who's nickname is "DOWN UNDER" (talk about the potential for offense, well, or at least immature jokes!) is so deeply concerned with "ho, ho, ho"? Just sayin! Anyway, just wanted to let all you bra-burners know that instead of smiling at that Salvation Army Santa on the way out of Walmart you SHOULD be slapping him instead for insulting the flower of womanhood! Merry Christmas!