Here are some of my favorite helpful Halloween tips! Additional advice welcome!
1. If you think you've killed the monster, demon, etc., DON'T GO BACK AND CHECK!
2. Do not read aloud from ancient books that summon "the spirits". Not even as a joke!
3. Don't search the basement. Ever.
4. If your children begin speaking in languages they have not been taught and or drawing odd symbols on the walls, shoot them! Be prepared! It may take several rounds of ammo to do the job! This sounds harsh, but will save you lots of grief later on!
5. The above tip also applies to children who speak in OTHER people's voices. Can't be too careful!
6. If you are with a group, DO NOT volunteer to go off alone.
7. As a general rule, do not solve puzzles that open the portals of Hell.
8. Never stand in, on, or above a tomb, grave or crypt. Common sense, people!
9. If appliances began running while unplugged, do not stop to look for the power source! Get the hell OUT!!!
10. If a town is deserted, there's a good reason why. Don't choose the one open store as your "pit stop". Also, do not camp here.
11. Unless you have a PhD and proper lab, do not attempt to "modify" DNA.
12. When running from the monster, you're going to fall down several times. Also, be prepared that even if he LOOKS slow, he's rapidly catching up with you!
13. If your companion's eyes glow red, they hiss, spit or bite, shoot them ASAP!
14. Be aware of your surroundings. Is it really a good idea to visit Ammityville, Elm Street, a Texas chainsaw warehouse, Nilbog, the woods at night?
15. Do not approach strangers who are walking around holding tools.
16. If you run out of gas (dumb-ass!), do not approach deserted looking homes. Wait! Never mind. Just shoot yourself. You're going to die anyway.
17. Don't have sex.
18. If your house built on an ancient cemetery or sacrificial temple of some sort, now's the time to put it on the market. Ditto if someone was horrifically murdered before you moved in!
19. Flashlights, not torches or candles.
20. Don't chant names in front of mirrors!
Hope this helps you make it to tomorrow safe and intact! Happy Halloween everyone!
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14 comments:
LOL!!! #21. when you are running, try not to fall... :)
funnah! "don't have sex!" ha!
ha! I think you covered it all! I think there's something about trusting the first person in the weird town that you meet too. They're always the bad guys....what's up with that?
Hmmm... good point! Perhaps they are the wierdo welcome wagon?
#22- Those phone calls you keep recieving? They're coming from INSIDE the house!!!
Keep your gun and plenty of ammo close so you can shoot the person who is calling from inside your house!
did somebody say guns? :)
Hee, hee!
#23- Your gun probably won't work. Have a plan B!
Thanks for the tips Truv!
You're so welcome!
do not feed little furry animals after midnight. they might eat YOU later!
LOL! Gurl, you is silly!
Your list is fabby. It makes me love you even longer time!
Might I add: If there has been a flock of birds stalking you, close the dern windows at yer house heffa!
Oh, yes... by all means, watch out for lots of BIRDS!!!
When you run to your car, you will wait until the last minute to get your keys out,then you'll drop them, then you'll forget which is the right key.
Ha! 'Cause I'm ALWAYS sticking my house key into the ignition by mistake! Good one! That's officially number 24!
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